mob mentality

they turn around to leave and notice you for the first time.
quickly you take the lid off your diet coke and throw it in their faces. it really seems to sting their eyes and watching them writhing around makes you wonder what the diet coke's been doing to your stomach lining all this time.
ew.
and then you remember that you're kind of in the middle of something and you should probably think about the stomach lining thing later.
so you focus on the little gas station robber guys, and you kind of feel bad for them now because all the people who looked like they were taking naps on the floor are now very much awake, and very much angry, and following your lead and dumping sodas and nachos and stuff on them, and by the time the cops get there, the robber guys actually look kind of relieved.
anyways, you get to be on the news and you get a plaque too. but the coolest part of it all is that whenever you go into the chevron on your way to work, they always give you a free diet coke. which is completely awesome.

and sure, you wind up with acid reflux because of all the free soda, but it's totally worth it.

THE END