i lava you
you follow the group towards the volcano, careful to keep your distance. when the group reaches the volcano they disappear inside.
freaky.
but you've come too far to back down now. you walk up to the volcano and see a secret entrance. you go inside, making a mental note to have a secret entrance put into your apartment because man they're cool!
inside the volcano (which is actually more like a corporate office than a volcano inside. mostly due to the lack of lava, i'd say) you see your boss go into a room. you follow him and manage to stay hidden which, considering the fact that you're in a high security, secret, volcanoey lair, is earning you major stealth points. you mostly hide behind a very large ficus plant while your boss sits quietly, waiting for someone. from behind the ficus you hear the door open and close, and see your boss stand up to greet... val kilmer.
you knew it! you knew he was evil!! there was no way that val kilmer was not going to be evil.
and that's when you realize that the whole "chocolate factory" thing is nothing but a way to ship the stupid dvd versions of his stupid STUPID movies to stores like walmart where people don't intend to buy crappy movies but can't help themselves once they enter the store and get a whiff of the discount prices and go into a kind of trance where they lust after everything kirkland brand and suddenly feel that getting "at first sight" free when they buy "red planet" might be a good deal after all.
oh my gosh!
that diabolical fiend!
you can't take it anymore.
you pull out your cyanide pill and take it.
THE END
freaky.
but you've come too far to back down now. you walk up to the volcano and see a secret entrance. you go inside, making a mental note to have a secret entrance put into your apartment because man they're cool!
inside the volcano (which is actually more like a corporate office than a volcano inside. mostly due to the lack of lava, i'd say) you see your boss go into a room. you follow him and manage to stay hidden which, considering the fact that you're in a high security, secret, volcanoey lair, is earning you major stealth points. you mostly hide behind a very large ficus plant while your boss sits quietly, waiting for someone. from behind the ficus you hear the door open and close, and see your boss stand up to greet... val kilmer.
you knew it! you knew he was evil!! there was no way that val kilmer was not going to be evil.
and that's when you realize that the whole "chocolate factory" thing is nothing but a way to ship the stupid dvd versions of his stupid STUPID movies to stores like walmart where people don't intend to buy crappy movies but can't help themselves once they enter the store and get a whiff of the discount prices and go into a kind of trance where they lust after everything kirkland brand and suddenly feel that getting "at first sight" free when they buy "red planet" might be a good deal after all.
oh my gosh!
that diabolical fiend!
you can't take it anymore.
you pull out your cyanide pill and take it.
THE END
posted by kat at 00:00
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