the best things in life are free but you can give them to the birds and bees

instantly mark linn-baker vanishes and you wonder how he could rip you off like that after all you've done for him. you decide to get a consolatory snack from the vending machine. you reach into your back pocket and pull out a twenty dollar bill. you LOVE it when that happens! you check your other back pocket, you know, just in case, and pull out another twenty. awesome. you're on a roll. and that's when you realize that mark linn-baker kept his word and you have an endless supply of 20's in your back pockets. you run into your bosses office, slam a twenty his desk and say, "you can stick that where the sun don't shine!" he stares at you, "come again?"
exasperated, you explain, "because of mark linn-baker i now have an endless supply of twenty dollar bills in my back pocket."
"hu."
"so i'm quitting. you know, because of the endless supply of cash. but i was wondering if you could give me change for a twenty. cuz i think the vending machine only takes coins."
you get your change.
and a celebratory snack.
and you go home and take a nap...

but then you buy an island, build a huge mansion in the trees like swiss family robinson except much swankier, and send mark linn-baker a card every christmas.
you'd totally put money in the card, but he'd probably just spend it on booze.

you know how those oompa loompas are.

THE END